Have you ever had this feeling of saying good bye to the world?

Have you ever had this feeling of saying good bye to the world?

Am I just sad? Or Am I empty? I don't know.

I am happy with my life, so don't get me wrong. I am grateful for my families and friends...basically for my loved-ones. But sometimes, I just feel that some things are bothering me. I mean, I sometimes just can't feel the happiness I want to feel. I'm lost for words. I can't express myself. I can't express these chaos in my mind.

What's wrong? Is it me for being me? Or is it the people around me? I don't know.

I am not perfect but I'm trying my best to meet people's expectations, my expectations for myself... But the process of doing that is always the most difficult. What's worse is that I, most of the time, fail. I fail them, I fail myself, I fail Him. 

i feel tired. 

my head always overthinks. 

Out of nowhere, I just find myself staring and then again words rumble around my mind. it is so hard.
Sometimes, all i want to do is to escape.. by escaping I mean, go to places I've never been, just adventure, just relax, just think... I don't know, my soul wants it.

I want to hold flowers, as many as I can. And say "you bloom so well"
I want to hug my dogs and say "I'm sorry. I love  you....SO MUCH"

WEIRD. Yes I am. 

Many....told me so.
Maybe because... I eat alone. I walk alone in a department store. I AM ALONE most of the time.
being alone and being silent is my therapy... 


hays, 
Jenny